tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40598928288173095202024-03-20T00:07:47.030-07:00Nessa in NovemberBanded on November 24, 2009
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wl1VdHy/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wl1VdHy/weight.png"></a>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-41139758453827209622010-02-02T21:45:00.000-08:002010-02-02T21:46:50.469-08:00Random Acts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfKnmZo5WTVGB39R2JzcI1UeWBu-3PDnk9zMRj3koFU7Qwp32irckYPIPH4NzoXbn2_Ea3iaslyI97kpE5RmT2PzyHAOg1rSI2sys-dq5pdTmRjp04EnGTuHBYdeI20-g9o8iANFsZhuy/s1600-h/DSC03859.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfKnmZo5WTVGB39R2JzcI1UeWBu-3PDnk9zMRj3koFU7Qwp32irckYPIPH4NzoXbn2_Ea3iaslyI97kpE5RmT2PzyHAOg1rSI2sys-dq5pdTmRjp04EnGTuHBYdeI20-g9o8iANFsZhuy/s320/DSC03859.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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Keeping up with my New Years resolution of daily random acts of kindness. Have missed a few days here and there but have tried to "double up" the following days and I think I'm ahead. I try and keep it simple, the kind of stuff anyone could do. And along the way here and there I keep looking for really fun ways to make someone's day. Some entries from my "Random Acts 2010 Journal"..........<br />
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Paid for the lady's coffee in the car behind me at Starbucks yesterday afternoon.<br />
Paid for a kids lunch who was behind me in line at McD's....couldn't see him too well in the rear view mirror, but he seemed to be right around the age of my sons.<br />
Cleaned up someone else's trash.<br />
Let three cars into traffic ahead of me during the evening commute. Snowy, nasty. We all wanted to just get home.<br />
Offered to stop at the drugstore for a co-worker who is home sick and couldn't get out.<br />
Chose to forgive someone who really hurt me this week and choose to believe it wasn't intentional.<br />
Emailed my last professor to tell her how much I enjoyed her class.<br />
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Just little stuff. But it sure is fun.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-75502814298165993822010-02-01T17:23:00.000-08:002010-02-01T17:23:35.255-08:002nd Fill ~ Gurgle Gurgle GurgleOne more CC in this snazzy little band buddy of mine. Up to 4 CC in my 10CC band, I felt it gurgling as it filled. What a difference, at least for now. They gave me a bottle of water and asked me to drink half of it before I left the office....and it took about 15-20 minutes. I know everyone's experiences with fill's are different but I sure have been pleasantly surprised so far. My doc doesn't use any topical anesthetic and the little tiny needle stick I feel is no big deal. I've never had a problem with needles in general but honestly, I am amazed at just how much of a "non-incident" it really is. I'm lucky, I know lots of people have to travel miles and miles for their appointments. My doctor's office is less then 5 miles away and I can go over my lunch hour.<br />
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Some of the nurses in my doctor's office are banded. They told me it's not unusual for patients to gain weight after their first fill, their philosophy is that we start out with a conservative restriction and gradually work up to that lovely "green zone" we're all aiming for so in the meantime, it can kind of be up and down as we find our way, the way that works best for us.....which foods, what amounts, when to eat etc. As evidenced by everyone's stories in the blogs I read, it really is an experience that's unique to each of us.<br />
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It's snowing again. Again!!!!!!! A coworker said it best......we're all living in a big snow globe and someone just keeps shaking it up. It is falling straight down today in big, romantic flakes. Looks just like Christmas. Except ho-ho-ho it isn't and we're kinda wanting to move along into spring now, Mother Nature. Put your hands in the air and step back from the globe, lady!!!!!<br />
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Now let's see which one of these fine liquid selections in my refrigerator get to be my dinner? And breakfast? And lunch....and.....and....Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-68776911590079074222010-01-31T14:31:00.000-08:002010-01-31T14:31:36.498-08:00Second Fill, Bring it OnMy first fill on January something-or-other really hasn't made lots of difference. 3 cc's in a 10cc band is noticeable but I can still eat at least a cup and a half of food without feeling full. I called and moved my appointment for the second fill up to tomorrow as I am on a plane to Philadelphia in two weeks ~ don't want to have to deal with the liquids thing or a new restriction while I'm staying in a hotel and working a convention floor all day.<br />
It's kind of left me feeling a wee bit blue about the whole thing. I am reading all the wonderful success stories on all the blogs I follow and they are so inspiring to me!!! My Dr. told me it's not uncommon for it to take 6 months before I start steadily losing weight, that starting out very slow and steady is a good thing...... but I just want it sooner :)) Now, now now!!! I've made lots of positive changes but also have to admit, there is plenty more I could be doing. I let the pain in my knees win over the Tylenol I could be taking that would allow me to walk more. I'm not very careful about counting calories. Still, I am trying to give myself credit for the positive changes I have made, knowing I'll continue to add more and more......and eventually it all will add up to long-term sucess.<br />
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Some of the changes......<br />
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* I don't drink liquids with my meals. Not ever.<br />
* I make sure I eat enough protein every day and have become very conscious of protein grams on everything that I buy or order.<br />
* I've quit eating bread for the most part. It actually goes down ok so far, but I've lost my taste for it. <br />
* I have water with me just about all the time and MOST days I get in my 64 ounces. Not all. But most.<br />
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I weigh once a week. Anything more makes me a little crazy. I know I really need to step up to the plate and get this exercise thing added to my life as a part of the daily routine. It's my biggest challenge right now.<br />
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Speaking of vitamins.......was I???..........I talked to my nutritionist about the vitamins my family practice Dr. had prescribed to me a couple of years ago. Her first question ~ am I taking my daily mutivitamin? <i>Absolutely!!!</i> And then she went down the short list of supplements, asking me about the foods I eat regularly. As we went down the list together I learned I'm getting plenty of each vitamin through the multi-vitamin tablet and the foods I am eating and really don't need the supplements I was buying. They're not hurting me but lots of money I don't need to spend.<br />
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We can't have it all at once, can we? Ohhh man, I know. I know. So here I am, continuing on the slow and steady crawl.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Knowing that eventually I am going to win this race.</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-77272384412393562812010-01-23T14:18:00.000-08:002010-01-23T14:20:21.867-08:00What???????<div style="color: lime; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: lime; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">日本語「よく」話せません。</span></b><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">I'm going out on a limb here. Someone is leaving me comments in Japanese. Or Chinese. Or Taiwanese. Sorry ~ I'm sure my lack of Pacific Rim cultural diversity awareness is showing, but all those languages look the same to me when I see them written. So the message I want to convey........and hopefully this is what it says up at the top of this post with my sincere thanks to Babelsfish for the assistance...........<i>.I don't know how to read Japanese.</i> I don't even know if it's a legitimate comment on my blog or maybe it's some weird spam thing or whatever. I am always a bit suspect when people approach me speaking in a language I don't understand. Forgive me! Feel free to comment again.......but I'll have to ask you to do so in English. Or pig-Latin! I orta-say owe-nay ow-hay oo-tay ead-ray at-they. Orta-say.</span></b><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Cheers!!!</span></b><br />
</div><b><span style="font-size: small;">Salut!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Chin-chin!! </span></b><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span> <br />
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</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-65235606249835362032010-01-16T18:29:00.000-08:002010-01-16T18:29:45.816-08:00Tiny PleasuresMy best friend came over to yak for a while. We both live in the same city but busy schedules mean our visits are infrequent. As I regaled her with some crazy story about my recent business trip.......probably compaining about the forced march/stroll I had to take every day to get to my booth at the trade show.....I looked up and saw she had tears in her eyes.<br />
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<i>What the</i>....?????<br />
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"Your face," she said. "You've lost so much weight in your face, it has changed so much. That's the face I remember seeing in high school."<br />
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Wow.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-15757792950690595182010-01-14T18:38:00.000-08:002010-01-14T18:38:46.168-08:00Dealing with it on the road....I was kinda nervous about the whole thing.<br />
Got my first fill on Tuesday and had to fly out bright and early Wednesday for a full week in a hotel and convention center. I figured the only way to deal with it was like everything else I've conquered in life: head on with a plan in my hand.<br />
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Step One: Formulate plan.....but first!!!!!! May I take this moment to holler out my first big NSV...non-scale victory....and might I add, I think those are the sweetest victories of all. Sooooo I slid into my window seat on the teensy tiny commuter-type airplane and.......tahhhh-dahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!............buckled the seat belt without sucking in my breath, turning bright red and straining my shoulder to tug the thing into place. It fit!!! With some room to spare!!!!! Ohhhh myyyy GOODNESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heightened security measures in effect as they are I refrained from hopping into the aisle and shakin' a Happy Nessa Dance up and down the plane but I was dancin' in my heart, I can tell you that!!!!!<br />
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</div>Ahhh-hem!!!<br />
So anyway........back to the plan. Step one: Carry water with me everywhere I go. When I carry it, I drink it. When I don't have it in my hand I don't think about drinking it so much. (Curious little side note here, as I boarded the plane at the gate laytex-gloved security agents actually TESTED my water bottle with a little paper strip and some chemical to make sure it was really water. Interesting.)<br />
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Step Two: Focus on things other than food, learning to replace the pleasure of airport pretzels with other things. This was easy, for a couple of reasons. I've had an inner-ear/sinus thing going on for the past couple of weeks. It leaves me feeling like I will tip over all the time....like the little gyroscope up in my head is leaning off to one side, I kind of feel like I have to concentrate to not wobble off-course. Taking decongestants has kind of helped but I really do have to pay attention when I am walking along, especially when I'm away from home, lest I lose my balance and kinda keel over.<br />
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Strolling through airports and buildings this past week with all of their architectural anomalies and linear distractions proved to be both a welcome distraction...and a bit of a challenge. I surely did keep my mind off food..........seemed like there wasn't a square corner or parallel line to be found from here to Georgia and back. Fun to look at but...........not sure if this will make sense but combined with my balance problem, I spent the entire week feeling like I was going to fall off the edge of the earth.........take a look........<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz-JDFftgyatB8zSBp8BxPLdhyhpO5NnnwyfJ2_krjMlSsQ577g8jIt35Hk8Rc_GMgeUBzL7PAtq_z6RaT5H4a6LHvlrHDNubWK9yvqgrEZYBmdlrtL4bLP32CduvgexeaaO2FOruT3M8y/s1600-h/DSC05126.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz-JDFftgyatB8zSBp8BxPLdhyhpO5NnnwyfJ2_krjMlSsQ577g8jIt35Hk8Rc_GMgeUBzL7PAtq_z6RaT5H4a6LHvlrHDNubWK9yvqgrEZYBmdlrtL4bLP32CduvgexeaaO2FOruT3M8y/s320/DSC05126.JPG" /></a><br />
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Fabulous architectural design at O'Hare in Chicago........<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NuII2vWZ_Uwm96WX6RgxAD4mn0qhdzWrzuaL3UUImoA5bTqoCmmTCxb9PhQQbj7m0YMa4CvuL84QzTyX2bUxXCa3xPMotUkKt9mUoE9TLC7Dfps5-SaFQIV4rY5xLmpntDZ8R7HAvbQq/s1600-h/DSC05107.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NuII2vWZ_Uwm96WX6RgxAD4mn0qhdzWrzuaL3UUImoA5bTqoCmmTCxb9PhQQbj7m0YMa4CvuL84QzTyX2bUxXCa3xPMotUkKt9mUoE9TLC7Dfps5-SaFQIV4rY5xLmpntDZ8R7HAvbQq/s320/DSC05107.JPG" /></a><br />
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But seriously, a girl with a tricky inner-ear thing could have a hard time just staying upright trying to navigate the place. Moving sidewalks get me where I want to go but I already felt like I had just stepped off a merry-go-round.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfjpkq2J0Y6t88buvqnDJ25AKTDT4O_Ia4yv7_GAuRmF8YGNBCle3bGE08-OYQGQldmNgc1TVu4AbLHc8_PHLfUDbhVne2z1r0ZqByvsKEiw-YPwqmJGdSGbqN62iLjC4wdTEbzfqT3-n/s1600-h/DSC05113.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnfjpkq2J0Y6t88buvqnDJ25AKTDT4O_Ia4yv7_GAuRmF8YGNBCle3bGE08-OYQGQldmNgc1TVu4AbLHc8_PHLfUDbhVne2z1r0ZqByvsKEiw-YPwqmJGdSGbqN62iLjC4wdTEbzfqT3-n/s320/DSC05113.JPG" /></a><br />
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Hold. On. To. The. Rail.<br />
Hold. On. To. The. Rail.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2thOk4YV3rMoxliNTOuOF_FcXsWM9noTX75WJxI77mXrori3l4CE42eXW5bMKtzPC9r4hwqvrQGIIC0LYoDAXzr949PRgk0gH4O4y4tGFl-ELkBaS4m5WHQIuoFtTMhLDXXyU8McJa-wg/s1600-h/DSC05125.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2thOk4YV3rMoxliNTOuOF_FcXsWM9noTX75WJxI77mXrori3l4CE42eXW5bMKtzPC9r4hwqvrQGIIC0LYoDAXzr949PRgk0gH4O4y4tGFl-ELkBaS4m5WHQIuoFtTMhLDXXyU8McJa-wg/s320/DSC05125.JPG" /></a><br />
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And THEN I got to my hotel.<br />
Let me explain, while I have tackled a number of challenges in my life involving great heights.......I don't like them. No I do not like them at all. I don't even like the third step of the ladder in my garage. Anything higher than step number two, I call my sons.<br />
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My hotel was a 50-story maze of a zillion structural lines, not a single one of which were parallel. One step into the lobby and I realized I was going to need dramamine just to get to my room on the 25th floor. To my way of thinking that's 25 opportunities for a wobbly lady to go careening to her death just finding her spot to sleep. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjXBL7CalNtrOoCmYyMiIUjE3K1OOvzx1zG6R8DXEh7_H69ycCsWB9eAxi7OQAZjA1JiRwfTubdq3gqJysY6UVR_xCwV_EeVOhBgNS2vi3uGN2-lmd80rw7oQgJnyZQfXXnULiiUy0rrhf/s1600-h/DSC05098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjXBL7CalNtrOoCmYyMiIUjE3K1OOvzx1zG6R8DXEh7_H69ycCsWB9eAxi7OQAZjA1JiRwfTubdq3gqJysY6UVR_xCwV_EeVOhBgNS2vi3uGN2-lmd80rw7oQgJnyZQfXXnULiiUy0rrhf/s320/DSC05098.JPG" /></a><br />
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My lovely little room had one full wall of glass window. I swear it felt like the floor was sloped straight to a certain death just beyond the sill and knew.....one mis-step in the middle of the night in that dark room should I have to get up and pee and I could end up on the sidewalk in my nightie. I pulled the curtains tight and tried to forget pigeons don't even fly up to the height of my room.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0zBjrHGbKXQ6OTiJwnFG2Q1orJWV9T3WeY8rCZcW1_vcvIzyvVZh4qNQhPp4IhjepW8owroeiXRB5_YtXvSNZT9MU1QJECRPAVwBnpI1b-Z2kfKq7C8kZYjf3wzDqmCbbBd6dnTkunQY/s1600-h/DSC05096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0zBjrHGbKXQ6OTiJwnFG2Q1orJWV9T3WeY8rCZcW1_vcvIzyvVZh4qNQhPp4IhjepW8owroeiXRB5_YtXvSNZT9MU1QJECRPAVwBnpI1b-Z2kfKq7C8kZYjf3wzDqmCbbBd6dnTkunQY/s320/DSC05096.JPG" /></a><br />
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Step Three: Every night I would plan the following day, making note of what I planned to eat.<br />
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Step Four: I would incorporate some walking into my daily routine. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever felt like the Universe or some vigilant committee of guardian angels had such a close watch over you there was just no chance for error? I feel like that and trust me, sometimes they hear me grumble. Like this weekend.....when I realized that I had to walk twice a day, every day, over half a mile just to get from my hotel room to the convention center where I was working. No way around it. My hotel room was Point A and every day I had to get to Point B. And every afternoon I had to get back to Point A. Honestly? What I had in mind was maybe 5-10 minutes of a brisk outdoor jaunt each day.<br />
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What I got was a daily forced march! And now that it's over I can't wait to answer my doc when he asks the inevitable question at my next appointment: are you getting exercise???? Well Mister, let me tell you about a week in January............and by the way.............food went fine. I chew, chew, chewed and drank a river of water in between meals. Never got stuck. No problems. Now that I've had a fill it's kinda weird how food gurgles past the band once I do take a drink...........but no problems.<br />
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Anyway. I'm home now and so glad to be here.<br />
Cozy beds with six pillows and maid service are nice for a few days......<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9gJB_6LL3yN_4LEiFbykeA6mBLt0UgLd5vbW4mhyphenhyphenAj51CprjPeANW0Wb2zXHIwxh3eFE08bk3MsuAJ7kQ7wz9Ue40Fc5a9De4Pg-n01UfBqZ5LfG-Abl8wPxKu0nTe2dnzqaQh55HQA8/s1600-h/DSC05092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9gJB_6LL3yN_4LEiFbykeA6mBLt0UgLd5vbW4mhyphenhyphenAj51CprjPeANW0Wb2zXHIwxh3eFE08bk3MsuAJ7kQ7wz9Ue40Fc5a9De4Pg-n01UfBqZ5LfG-Abl8wPxKu0nTe2dnzqaQh55HQA8/s320/DSC05092.JPG" /></a><br />
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.....but in my book, there is no place like home.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-37764404984708730912010-01-04T14:30:00.000-08:002010-01-04T14:30:13.239-08:00FIRST FILL !!!!Ok, it's in !! My little band buddy is proud and puffy now. Just got home from my first fill which was no bigga-deala as far as the procedure goes. Needles really don't bother me so I can't say I was apprehensive about the fill itself as much as I am about how it changes the way I eat and drink this next week. It wasn't painful at all. From the time they swabbed my tummy to the time my doc removed the needle after the fill.........five minutes? Maybe? Probably less, although you know how time flies when we're having fun!!! <br />
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My doc was happy with my progress so far, happy I was able to hold my ground during the holidays with so little restriction. (Miracle, I don't really know how that happened, I know I've been increasing my portion sizes because I've been so hungry.) Personally, I would have loved to see the loss of a pound or two.....but I'm not complaining. Forward march!!!!!<br />
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Ahh well. This weeks challenge is to fly out on Wednesday, still on my post-fill liquids regimen, shift over to soft foods for a day or so....and then eat properly, chewing well and all that good stuff.......while having to dine in restaurants for a full week. I have a feeling I'm going to get to know the Marriott room service staff real well. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlsRsd_4lwMdA8x8jmL0B1EmON8HNJrVqH_dR3nGtkds7TeVFnGibvk2ilzKXfSM-ZjlexsYqhKvrBBKrxW8yEe-FCk7g3A3xGAmxiAPVMIJB4Ej_9ArsurUB2irR9TytTmgT_5A_DT1d/s1600-h/Oatmeal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlsRsd_4lwMdA8x8jmL0B1EmON8HNJrVqH_dR3nGtkds7TeVFnGibvk2ilzKXfSM-ZjlexsYqhKvrBBKrxW8yEe-FCk7g3A3xGAmxiAPVMIJB4Ej_9ArsurUB2irR9TytTmgT_5A_DT1d/s320/Oatmeal.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">What???!!!!</span></i><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Another oatmeal for Room 2216 ????</span></i><br />
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</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-86115857644765908132010-01-03T07:54:00.000-08:002010-01-03T07:54:01.748-08:00Let the Random Acts Begin.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqLCiAJcfQLx4URbLebOvkZLg1Calv7z7ifeCqLGoKaR5UkUhNBgtw-oCf6fqZNgJ_toJkawZy7cTcLs764tobvB_l3r2B0NdoWdJQuDYPihbeuZDabsK4kVycGwmhqydPWFUWcClWVhRb/s1600-h/HandHeart+Pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqLCiAJcfQLx4URbLebOvkZLg1Calv7z7ifeCqLGoKaR5UkUhNBgtw-oCf6fqZNgJ_toJkawZy7cTcLs764tobvB_l3r2B0NdoWdJQuDYPihbeuZDabsK4kVycGwmhqydPWFUWcClWVhRb/s400/HandHeart+Pic.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div>With a goal of accomplishing (at least) one random act of kindness each day in 2010, I had to get started right away. Also realized I need to do a little preparation to take advantage of opportunities. I pulled out all my old stationary and cards, gathered up a bunch of fun little trinkets and things that I love and found a bunch of little boxes along with wrapping paper, tape and scissors. We're ready!!!<br />
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First a couple of stories that led up to my goal for the year. A decade or so ago I had a bit of a rough year. I'd been a busy wife and mom for over 20 years, living in small town where I was busy and involved in everything ~ knew everyone in town, community volunteer, president of the school board. I was in it clear up to my neck. Great, wonderful years. Then my last child left for college, I divorced my husband, lost my job, had an emergency hysterectomy....seriously, all that in a couple months time. Brutal!!! I was so broke and so lost. <br />
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I carried with me one lesson that I learned from my mother very early in life ~ the best way to help yourself is to help someone else. I looked around me. What did I have to give? How could I help anyone else, I could barely take care of me. I called the blood bank. I figured I might not have money in my purse or extra food in my cupboard but I still had veins in my arms and plenty of time on my hands. I made an appointment and donated a pint. Then another. And another. I can remember walking out of the blood bank each time, thinking to myself.....I might not have much but I've still got great blood!! By the end of the year I'd donated a gallon and they gave me a special "donor's" t-shirt. I've gotta tell ya, it felt so great!!!<br />
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Fast forward to just a few months ago. I pulled into my favorite Starbucks and didn't see a car coming from a side street with the same intent. I pulled into the driveup and quickly realized when I looked in my rear-view mirror that I'd cut off the other driver, essentially I'd cut in front of her. That's not like me at all and I felt bad. So when I got up to the window, I paid for my coffee and paid for hers too. I asked the barista at the window to tell her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut in front of you! Have a great day!!!" I pulled away from the window and as I melted back into traffic I saw the barista leaning out the window explaining to the other driver that her coffee was paid for. Man, I felt like a million bucks.<br />
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Just before Christmas I did the same thing for a kid in an old car who was behind me at the McDonalds drive up. I could tell he was just about my kids age ~ late 20's ~ and the car he was driving was older. Every 20-something I know is pretty much broke. The mom in me just wanted to run back and hug him. So I bought his lunch, paying for his order at the window as I paid for my own. As I pulled away from the window I said a little prayer that perhaps this little random act would inspire him in his life to do things for others. I'll never know....but it doesn't matter. That's what random acts are like most of the time ~ we never know just exactly how much they meant to the recipients but we hope they are like little sparks that light fires in others that start glowing all over the place.<br />
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I should interject here ~ I don't have lots of money. I have a good job but I also have a mortgage, a mountain of student loans to pay and I'm driving a 6-year old car that I'm still paying for. It took me forever to pay off my hospital bills from way back when. My employer is hanging on by a thread and I am pretty sure we're going to make it, but in the meantime we've all taken a 15% pay cut and will be working several weeks this year without pay. When I buy someones coffee or their lunch, it's not because I have wads of money to give away. Quite the opposite. For me it's really more of an act of gratitude to God for what I DO have. I have learned, the less I have the more I try and give away and God just continues to meet all my needs so I can keep on doing it. But random acts of kindness don't have to cost a thing. It's the act that counts. <br />
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Here's how I chose to begin this years series of random acts:<br />
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January 1 Gave my waitress a $10 tip on a $9.00 restaurant tab. I was a waitress decades ago. Hard work.<br />
January 2 Sent a card and note to people whose house I pass on my way home from work every evening to let them know how much I loved their Christmas lights.<br />
January 3 I wrapped up a bar of delicious smelling handmade soap that I bought at a farmers market this summer and left it in a mailbox with a "Happy New Year" note this morning. I have no idea who lives there but I've seen the lady walking down her driveway to get the mail many times. I think she'll enjoy it.<br />
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I'm off to a fun start!!!Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-83079758711229803782010-01-02T18:13:00.000-08:002010-01-02T18:13:19.820-08:00BrrrrrrrrHad to change my profile picture today to show the fun scarf/collar my daughter knitted for me for Christmas.......last night was a big "post NYE" party with the family and it surely came in handy ~ it was about 16 degrees below zero outdoors. WHO goes outside on a night like that!!!?? We did and that cozy knit collar kept me toasty all the way home.<br />
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It was a great evening, an ESPECIALLY great evening! My daughter was home on a quick visit from Tennessee and it was a chance to see her during the holidays. I had one beer and a small bit of food, sent my plate away from the table with the waitress when I was finished and just enjoyed the conversation which ~ MUCH to my amazement ~ worked very well. I've been worried about "evenings out" and was so glad this went well. I travel quite a bit and have to figure out how to make restaurant-eating work for me. My first fill is on Monday and fly out two days later to work out of a hotel and convention center for a week. My first out-of-town challenge! I've bagged up some of my favorite protein powder and there is always plenty of bottled water so I can sip all day.<br />
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We'll just see how it goes.<br />
Very excited about the fill, I want to feel a little squeeze from my band buddy.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-90356007563334741562009-12-31T20:53:00.000-08:002009-12-31T20:55:29.132-08:00Happy New Year!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_elu5uPcrSrTbZ-jRM74BqIGxiQO-PUtF2AHcl1FVqfdTYY9XNQc22NSwjLaCLn3gAJyjASGNDWMS4Wme2er4i1eeLcu3ZzE7Urv6kFiMkVOAK90L5EJ9T2aGlQH25Rche9V2Ew-qyz9q/s1600-h/A.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_elu5uPcrSrTbZ-jRM74BqIGxiQO-PUtF2AHcl1FVqfdTYY9XNQc22NSwjLaCLn3gAJyjASGNDWMS4Wme2er4i1eeLcu3ZzE7Urv6kFiMkVOAK90L5EJ9T2aGlQH25Rche9V2Ew-qyz9q/s320/A.JPG" /></a><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Is it possible you're even HALF as excited as I am about the amazing possibilities that lie ahead in 2010??</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not only possible ~ but very likely!!!!</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Just a little over thirty days into a new way of life I'm headed to my first fill appointment on Monday. I'm headed to class on Tuesday night. I'm headed to Atlanta for a market show on Wednesday. As I flip the pages of the calendar I'm amazed how many dates are already noted with travel, appointments and occasions. In other words ~ this year is going to FLY by and I can't wait to see where I'll be on New Years Eve next year.</span><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>What's my big project for the year?</b></span><br />
</div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Completing grad school and walking across the stage to get my masters? Well yeah....</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Learning to use my new band buddy as the most effective tool possible to get myself into the best physical shape of my adult life? Well yeah, that too........</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">And there are lots of auxiliary dreams and goals and ambitions related to both of those accomplishments.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">But I have a bigger goal and it's really simple:</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">My goal for 2010 is to do one random act of kindness every day for a full year. I figure the only way to keep this goal is to write it down. So I've got a journal all set up next to my bed to keep track. The daily random act is a pretty big commitment, I'll admit. It's not that it is so difficult to do something randomly kind for someone every day. I try and just be nice to people all the time. But it's difficult to REMEMBER to do it and to keep track, to write it down. You know how it is.We just get so busy. That's what got me into big trouble with my weight ~ MINDLESS eating when I was bored or stressed or so busy that I skipped meals and then gorged myself later.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">So that's it.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">(At least) one random act of kindness per day.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Later on this year maybe I'll tell you what made me decide to do this. It's a bit of a story and I won't take time tonight. There are balloons to drop and horns to blow. For some of you anyway.....as for me and my 2009, it's about to come to an end just a wee bit before 11 PM.</span><br />
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</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: black;">Happy New Year everyone!!</span></b><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">God bless you, thank you for your inspiration and my best wishes to you</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">for bountiful blessings and amazing success in the year to come.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Honestly, I think it will be the BEST year ever. </span><br />
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Love, Nessa</span><br />
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</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-20424023187972987062009-12-26T19:45:00.000-08:002009-12-26T19:45:17.354-08:00Christmas Eve aloneChristmas was nice. Very quiet, but very nice. This, in stark contrast to the years and years of bustling Christmases when I was growing up and when I was raising my kids. My father had five siblings so the holidays always meant a frenzy of cousins packed into my grandparents farm house. My three kids are grown now and not everyone could make it home this year. I divorced their Dad right after my youngest graduated high school and I'll admit those first couple of Christmases in a small apartment after years of commanding Mission Control of the busy family starship were quite different!! Didn't take long to learn though....change isn't bad.......it can be fun, it's challenging, sometimes it's exciting.....and sometimes it's just....different.<br />
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I spent Christmas Eve by myself. I had some favorite holiday DVD's stacked up, made some phone calls to friends and family, wrapped presents for the kids visit the next day and cooked up a storm. I was alone but not lonely ~ have my new band to keep me company and the 24th is my one-month BANDIVERSARY!!!!! So there was plenty of reason to celebrate!<br />
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My first fill is scheduled for January 5 and none too soon. I feel very little restriction and can eat just about anything. My big holiday victory: I had ONE frosted Christmas cookie. Total. I just focused on cooking and sending treats out and delivering them to other people and didn't touch them. Christmas Day I enjoyed one cookie with my kids. That's it!! That's one heck of a big victory for me. I LOVE frosted cookies and could easily eat an entire batch myself (and have, I am sure!)<br />
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The only loneliness I feel this weekend is loneliness for the lovely restriction I had from my band-buddy right after surgery. It's pretty much gone. I have been trying to only eat when hungry and I'm hungry all the time. I haven't lost a pound in the past 10 days. Kinda bummed about that but I spent the day reminding myself this is just the beginning, I'm just learning.<br />
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Small steps. They'll add up. Next Christmas my best gift will still be what I did for myself on November 24, 2009 when I walked into surgery and hopped up on that table.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-76004235536237026142009-12-19T20:16:00.000-08:002009-12-19T20:16:30.409-08:00Replacing Bad Habits with Better HabitsAn important step in the process of lifestyle change for me has been to identify strategies for replacing my former companion and buddy ~ food ~ with alternatives that don't have calories.<br />
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Most of us know first hand that food is often a substitute, an inappropriate crutch, we've learned to rely on ~ and even enjoy ~ rather than address the real need that is gnawing away at us. Some of us are lonely, some of us are just bored. Others of us have more serious psychological wounds that we soothe with food.<br />
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I think for many of us, such as in my case, it's a combination of these things. Over a period of years beginning way back when we were children, we learned to use a food as the balm that soothes whatever ails us. <br />
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I was frightened or sad as a child: Grandma gave me a cookie.<br />
I was disappointed in junior high: Mom took me out for pizza.<br />
I was frazzled as a young mom: I baked for the children and tasted my way into size 24 jeans.<br />
I was distraught when my son was in Iraq: I cooked and cooked and cooked. I ate and I ate and I ate.<br />
I was lonely after my divorce: Somehow the hours of the quiet, lonely evening are easier when you have a big bowl of pasta in your lap.<br />
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So there you have it. A lifetime of nurturing a relationship, one of the longest relationships of my life. And it's not like I can banish my old friend from my life forever. I have to eat to stay alive so it's all about reconstructing the relationship into one that is healthy. We all face a similar challenge but we each have to meet it in ways that suit our lives and personalities.<br />
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Reframing my relationship with food means getting back to nurturing my creative side. I moved my paints into the living room where I spend most of my time. I created a list of projects I've wanted to tackle for a long time but never found time to start. I've accepted projects from friends and family.<br />
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This week my newly-banded, creative self has been dancing around the house with paintbrushes in hand, playing Santa's elf. My niece is a huge Twilight fan and all she wanted for Christmas this year was a pair of hand-painted Chuck Taylor's. I haven't read the books, haven't seen the movies. I checked them out online. Whoaaa!!!! Over $100 bucks!!!! Ahhh-hem!!!!!! So Auntie Nessie tackled the project. They're finished! I painted a hoodie for her too. I can't wait until she sees them on Christmas morning!!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKOV0uVL_eOfRYXK0lIPvdAqXxnarQ6jCOMZ2uoUSifhERa-cA7XzjmpM6L_PkVR75YEin-K3E13zQbNcC6r7rQlM1t3C0bDwvof2o6W3ARxDLsBl95S47uoYe2GOrg9plX9hYXy6HDHmC/s1600-h/DSC04983.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKOV0uVL_eOfRYXK0lIPvdAqXxnarQ6jCOMZ2uoUSifhERa-cA7XzjmpM6L_PkVR75YEin-K3E13zQbNcC6r7rQlM1t3C0bDwvof2o6W3ARxDLsBl95S47uoYe2GOrg9plX9hYXy6HDHmC/s320/DSC04983.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimTR9Up7QN4TWCKbZi2CizvpVgx4xkbXxT8gr_fUcRgEVqJ_heRkiDwgxxvuGbmiRbDzw_XuSYAy2iOMkxrxGhZ9qsJ48LAQM7eRhiY6I06O-dsWVOJ5QjUOszQ5vVewzwIrXYRIBIo_9b/s1600-h/DSC04979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimTR9Up7QN4TWCKbZi2CizvpVgx4xkbXxT8gr_fUcRgEVqJ_heRkiDwgxxvuGbmiRbDzw_XuSYAy2iOMkxrxGhZ9qsJ48LAQM7eRhiY6I06O-dsWVOJ5QjUOszQ5vVewzwIrXYRIBIo_9b/s320/DSC04979.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRJsxEsocI0bNuEDzlzwLugFhrHaAel2abwztzsZIuJEp_7W30iOG_LgMB7e-uckPxh0ZKE6cBO0UJFaQRLEMSyAzdSw8qkgYaJxHhD1pp_EzmML5bvVWga8Cy06POvxTP2onRk-M1aLxU/s1600-h/DSC04977.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRJsxEsocI0bNuEDzlzwLugFhrHaAel2abwztzsZIuJEp_7W30iOG_LgMB7e-uckPxh0ZKE6cBO0UJFaQRLEMSyAzdSw8qkgYaJxHhD1pp_EzmML5bvVWga8Cy06POvxTP2onRk-M1aLxU/s320/DSC04977.JPG" /></a><br />
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What a great time I've been having and do you know what????<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dbmSyEFN1_9HZupFg9mY1R6fSMYrjUPOifgzFNNdBaDvgL7xrkm3m_3sYedUSm4RrbhHarAQzisdjuFjnABq70n6bKOsuE92Bu4lTgrN-KUYjVlfUt0SOjKvJsp-3CHcVR_hNSyUtV41/s1600-h/DSC04975.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dbmSyEFN1_9HZupFg9mY1R6fSMYrjUPOifgzFNNdBaDvgL7xrkm3m_3sYedUSm4RrbhHarAQzisdjuFjnABq70n6bKOsuE92Bu4lTgrN-KUYjVlfUt0SOjKvJsp-3CHcVR_hNSyUtV41/s320/DSC04975.JPG" /></a><br />
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When I'm painting I don't even think about food.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-80920980259644616452009-12-09T15:07:00.000-08:002009-12-09T15:13:22.673-08:00Oh the weather outside is frightful !!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After lunch yesterday I noticed the snow falling outside my office<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">windows was starting to pile up a bit in the woods.<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hmmm......maybe the weather guy was right when he said all sorts of<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">winter hell was about to break loose.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibnOkT9S5ihYWXZBV4UWbhmixFrJT33G-gfcpvN1IrzpWCTCwgRYzylqtGoNZnL5CmkHdspJ3UrjGOQMzeiFyTds_H7OABrojkK3OlGyu60yCAo44IpDzlSN3_pwrDSouarf_yZIt24Nlb/s1600-h/DSC04920.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibnOkT9S5ihYWXZBV4UWbhmixFrJT33G-gfcpvN1IrzpWCTCwgRYzylqtGoNZnL5CmkHdspJ3UrjGOQMzeiFyTds_H7OABrojkK3OlGyu60yCAo44IpDzlSN3_pwrDSouarf_yZIt24Nlb/s320/DSC04920.JPG" /></a><br />
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Noticing everyone in the building had headed out to their cars I left a bit early to find everyone scraping windshields. My car was under a thick blanket of snow already. Scraper and snow brush still in the garage at home, my sleeve and an old file folder worked pretty good since it was still pretty warm outside.....well, compared to how cold it's going to get tonight. It's going to be about 5. Yeah. <i>Degrees.</i> Brrrr baby, brrrrrrrrrr. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT-AWthDfh-Bz8etqJz3592WHpoBWfMw4pef_5yPplnnzBYmmb69CPS-hfMNuMERtzS5RyKw52EaglWT9rNbeJEH3DO2T1-jfuN16D9Jrb1XoEXqMc__hxngesnyD42ohUsEJHdkUwFGSE/s1600-h/DSC04929.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT-AWthDfh-Bz8etqJz3592WHpoBWfMw4pef_5yPplnnzBYmmb69CPS-hfMNuMERtzS5RyKw52EaglWT9rNbeJEH3DO2T1-jfuN16D9Jrb1XoEXqMc__hxngesnyD42ohUsEJHdkUwFGSE/s320/DSC04929.JPG" /></a><br />
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This morning it was pretty clear....snow has stopped but the winds are wicked and plans for the lunch on the patio will have to be postponed until ohhh, maybe late April??<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XbntnMSsphDpsmzGoswavVOXW-kiR24kWUhSmetH8f56e0_0UbxdMB6FebxacXg0wdP1EdSoHATHCx9PXObBicXIkFYFPwIHiHbj7giMUrpnTT1YLMweO0hD8whUO75SqTzHWBJSBuID/s1600-h/DSC04933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XbntnMSsphDpsmzGoswavVOXW-kiR24kWUhSmetH8f56e0_0UbxdMB6FebxacXg0wdP1EdSoHATHCx9PXObBicXIkFYFPwIHiHbj7giMUrpnTT1YLMweO0hD8whUO75SqTzHWBJSBuID/s320/DSC04933.JPG" /></a><br />
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Y'know, I really truly did intend to get the Christmas lights strung this next weekend. I believe it's going to be an un-lit Christmas at my place this year, neighbors will just have to enjoy the sparklies by looking in through my windows.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfBE2aMALZCdW6IVd4JFt-TF25-9226qZzwIrb5lSGgJZKshbY5PtNpafUm7qwmtF2LE_26fuq7SqzLesGIvh99mIsbKV5XhGrTPJx_ey4-u5JTl2kszFbTmmG2zKFU0gHEAAbIEWrAujA/s1600-h/DSC04936.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfBE2aMALZCdW6IVd4JFt-TF25-9226qZzwIrb5lSGgJZKshbY5PtNpafUm7qwmtF2LE_26fuq7SqzLesGIvh99mIsbKV5XhGrTPJx_ey4-u5JTl2kszFbTmmG2zKFU0gHEAAbIEWrAujA/s320/DSC04936.JPG" /></a><br />
Perfect and deep for the traditional snow ice cream I used to make with the kids.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVtysYpfL-_BgtAn3dGLsuTAIrGd2MyizX20d1R2tLDjO8zkSh12fHREmH4ltqOp1qPYkuGlLo5w0xt0jXX0Xiwys8zRvQ_yJy1iAwxSsjtuitdHMQMiejRvqZEP00XhzZZ3ZS07h6Ja4R/s1600-h/DSC04941.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVtysYpfL-_BgtAn3dGLsuTAIrGd2MyizX20d1R2tLDjO8zkSh12fHREmH4ltqOp1qPYkuGlLo5w0xt0jXX0Xiwys8zRvQ_yJy1iAwxSsjtuitdHMQMiejRvqZEP00XhzZZ3ZS07h6Ja4R/s320/DSC04941.JPG" /></a><br />
Considering all the online Christmas shopping I did this season, looks like the FedEx guy is going to get the opportunity to prove he really DOES deliver. I can't even open my front door. That drift is pushed right up against it and the wind just keeps piling it higher.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLBMHJr_z1Is5wQQmEOWJXmZwYIxiQ2jHvJbTQQwYvyNUl9z-ucxArXKSCdvpADXRvLVKI9ouE_2-wb4OJIIvYoWcJc182l8KTYvo2THuBRsZ_MWdMwUJtUdSVN6W2985JmsyZtPf9Z5Xj/s1600-h/DSC04947.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLBMHJr_z1Is5wQQmEOWJXmZwYIxiQ2jHvJbTQQwYvyNUl9z-ucxArXKSCdvpADXRvLVKI9ouE_2-wb4OJIIvYoWcJc182l8KTYvo2THuBRsZ_MWdMwUJtUdSVN6W2985JmsyZtPf9Z5Xj/s320/DSC04947.JPG" /></a><br />
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Meanwhile inside where it is nice and warm, the snow-day baking continues as the cinnamon roll dough is rising nicely! How about the snow-day EATING? How is THAT going?? Honestly, I love baking so I can take goodies to work and give treats as gifts. This year I just don't feel tempted or even have the inclination to taste. It's a new wrinkle. Normally I'm a taste-tester and I'd be face-deep into the goodies from the moment I first started to melt the butter and add the sugar. Haven't even licked the beaters.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZMC8MxKxgOw1tzTgbkHIXCjyaZDbVj2k7NcOXfvTY_wu6Dt8Z_mz47YSEUGpdtJXYVp5wISIC3AkM6Ddhxt_d0maINI_CCqpnRGnX-aehPajh7xnSgNBBKDeXgFcd43yZEfE4HJLtcHZ/s1600-h/DSC04954.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkZMC8MxKxgOw1tzTgbkHIXCjyaZDbVj2k7NcOXfvTY_wu6Dt8Z_mz47YSEUGpdtJXYVp5wISIC3AkM6Ddhxt_d0maINI_CCqpnRGnX-aehPajh7xnSgNBBKDeXgFcd43yZEfE4HJLtcHZ/s320/DSC04954.JPG" /></a><br />
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This new lease on life I'm experiencing thanks to my band buddy is helping me in ways I honestly didn't expect. I feel great about how things are going. I don't feel a great deal of restriction now as the swelling from surgery has gone and I haven't had my first fill yet. But I DO feel physically different inside. I'm getting used to small meals. I'm getting used to eating slower. I don't drink any liquids with my meals and I have at least one protein shake a day.<br />
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It's working. I'm down another couple of pounds this week. And my room mate honestly.............<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkzUtawDA7f9u4riA75LCdR-fcwwnX4IKp9s0CGonjqmsVM5314NZ2_q2xzZ890VDyZk6V8o43SuWD2wWW8-RmT8KYSbkdlYNET36kyeVPM87NqFeesqbRrqSE2Xu4VS4rPBydORaCZKvo/s1600-h/Binkerton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkzUtawDA7f9u4riA75LCdR-fcwwnX4IKp9s0CGonjqmsVM5314NZ2_q2xzZ890VDyZk6V8o43SuWD2wWW8-RmT8KYSbkdlYNET36kyeVPM87NqFeesqbRrqSE2Xu4VS4rPBydORaCZKvo/s320/Binkerton.jpg" /></a><br />
....could care less about any of it as long as he's got his blankie and a nice, soft spot on the couch right under the furnace vent.<br />
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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-7591669781173267932009-12-06T07:55:00.000-08:002009-12-06T07:55:54.462-08:00Getting into the Holiday Spirit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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Couldn't resist posting, even though it's a blurry picture. Took a spin last night down through a part of town that is festively decorated for the season and had to pull out my camera and snap a few moving pictures. The colors are just so pretty. Better pictures to come and they'll look more seasonal because tonight.....snow!!!!<br />
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It was unseasonably warm last weekend. In the 60's. All my smarter neighbors put out their Christmas lights last weekend. No, I did not. I waited until today. Now the hours are ticking away. IF I want lovely, twinkly holiday lights to glisten under a blanket of snow in my shrubberies......I must get outside in the 20 degree morning and string them along.<br />
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I love snow.<br />
LOVE SNOW!!!<br />
I used to be a mail carrier, delivering mail and packages to over 500 families out in the country three times a week. My route was about 75 miles, half of which was gravel roads. Many, many snowy mornings it was just me and the deer and the foxes. I carried a little black book in my jeep.......farmers phone numbers.<br />
Can't tell you how many times I've been nose-first and deep into a roadside ditch. I'd dial up the nearest farmer and they'd come pull me out with a tractor or pick-up. On the snowiest days I always carried little bags of homemade chocolate chip cookies with me. I knew before the end of the day I'd need to hand them out.......thank-you gifts to my farmer buddies for pulling me out of yet another snowy ditch.<br />
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These days I leave the snow challenges to heartier folks. Nice fellas show up at my front door to plow my drive, walks and streets before I leave for work in the morning. When I hear their tractors outside my windows at 4 or 5 AM I just smile and bury myself deeper in my quilts. I no longer pass bundles of letters and bills from my car into frozen mailboxes with cold, gloved fingers. I'm a sales rep at an art studio with 20-foot floor-to-ceiling windows that look out through the twisted trunks and sculpted branches of a forest of old oak trees. Deer bed down beneath their branches in the night. Mornings when I arrive before the sun comes up I stand inside, watching them awaken and paw at the crusted snow, looking for shoots of breakfast grass.It's pretty amazing.<br />
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Yeah, I love the snow.<br />
And here it comes.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-58953580025266328482009-11-29T08:06:00.000-08:002009-11-29T08:06:12.183-08:00Back to Real Life....It's back to real life for everyone after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.<br />
Back to real life for me after a week off for surgery.<br />
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Real life for me is a full-time day job as a manufacturers sales rep. At night I magically transform myself into Full-Time Student. I'm wrapping up my masters degree and will graduate in June 2010. Weekends for me usually are given over to homework and I'm behind. Two weeks worth of it lay on the table before me.<br />
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I don't usually study at home.<br />
This is why:<br />
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That's Binks, my 24-pound roommate who loves to be next to me every moment I am home. If we're watching tv, he's sleeping on my chest. If I'm in bed, he's asleep in the crook of my arm. If I'm trying to study..........well, as you can see, his favorite place to "share" that activity with me is right on top of the book or kayboard where I'm working.<br />
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That's why I study at the library. At the book store. At a coffee shop.<br />
Pretty much anywhere I can find WiFi works better than home. Yeah, I could throw him down off the table or lock him up in another room. But he's my best pal and I just can't bring myself to do it.<br />
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Sundays Binks pretty much has the place to himself.<br />
While off I go to study.....Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-10718398636177259602009-11-28T15:17:00.000-08:002009-11-28T15:17:42.645-08:00Thanksgiving LeftoversThanksgiving leftovers............<br />
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.....look pretty much like this years Thanksgiving dinner!!!<br />
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It's ok by me. I've enjoyed over 50 years of traditional Thanksgiving dinners cooked and hosted by some of the best cooks on the planet. This year I've changed my focus. For the first time since I can remember, I didn't push away from a table, stuffed to the point of discomfort. <br />
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So how's it going? Four days post-surgery and I feel like I've turned the corner.<br />
I stopped taking the hospital pain-meds and am down to a light dose of the liquid Tylenol, just to take the edge off. I got out and drove around a bit in the car today. I threw open the sun roof and the sunshine and fresh air surely did me a world of good. <br />
<br />
I've noticed everyone's doctors seem to have their own plan for their patients.<br />
My doc has me on liquids for 2 weeks post-op. I'm anxious to add some substance back into my diet but I don't mind waiting. I haven't had any nausea at all. No gas pains. They even gave me a flu shot while I was in the hospital.<br />
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What do I look forward to the most?<br />
Thanksgiving next year.....when I can give thanks as I look back and realize how far I have come.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-79270780057647018822009-11-25T17:52:00.000-08:002009-11-25T17:52:02.611-08:00SURGERY DAYSurgery is over. I'm banded and home recovering after one night in the hospital. I might mention, this was a BRAND NEW hospital. Everything totally state-of-the-art, all private rooms each of which include a kitchenette and monstrous flatscreen television with wireless internet and a wireless keyboard on the bedside table. The room was twice as big as many hotel rooms I have stayed in. Amazing. I kinda didn't want to leave!!<br />
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I walked myself into the operating room and climbed up on to the operating table. Very shorty thereafter things went a bit fuzzy as the anesthesiologist gave me a sedative through my IV......and that's the last I remember until waking up in recovery. Within a couple of hours I was tucked into my hospital room, playing a word game on the big screen and sucking on ice chips.<br />
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<br />
I have five small incisions.The nurses were in my room, checking vitals every two hours so it wasn't a great nights sleep, but I was warm and very comfortable through most of the night.<br />
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Painful? Yes. Getting up out of bed was painful because I have to use all those abdominal muscles and they've had a bit of a trauma with all the laprascope stuff. But I also had a nice, steady flow of pain medication and on the scale of 1-10 with 10 being excruciating like if you got your hand slammed in the car door, honestly it was never over a 7 or so. When I walk around I can feel it in my tummy, too. Like it's tied up in little knifey knots in there. But it's not unbearable and every hour it gets a little bit better.<br />
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This morning I had the swallow test in front of the scope so they could make sure everything was flowing correctly and once passing that, was clear to go home.<br />
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And here I sit.<br />
At home, in my jammies, under a blanket, sipping hot tea and waiting for my daughter to get back from the pharmacy with the pain meds. Coughing? No fun. Deep breathing? Very important and getting easier.<br />
<br />
The required protocol from my surgeon is: 2 days of clear liquids followed by 2 weeks of a liquid diet, adding protein shakes, milk and soups. I'll be very excited to move out of the clear liquids as I've been "enjoying them" for 2 weeks already. Turkey broth for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.<br />
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Oh well, at least I don't have to get up early to cook it!<br />
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And I am sooooooooo glad to be sleeping in my own bed tonight.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-36023844073717541042009-11-23T16:07:00.000-08:002009-11-23T16:07:21.188-08:00Thanksgiving Dinner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My granddaughter snagged the starring role in her Kindergarten play as the Thanksgiving Turkey. Grandma melts over these quick sent-by-cell phone pictures. Lord, but I do LOVE technology!!!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_1NTW21Ap2CwYPVz-jkuK8r2NHCrw8PsbJNZIkNvo8IfZUc6Fq21jucV0Wx8zO3i7R_JwS95XMSIgFpBlCOY0tV1m7HH-3pDGKbulvdTFnBZgRC7P2R4RWlXQ774ZiLudTO8-mjhhr9f7/s1600/Victoria+in+her+First+Thanksgiving+Play.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_1NTW21Ap2CwYPVz-jkuK8r2NHCrw8PsbJNZIkNvo8IfZUc6Fq21jucV0Wx8zO3i7R_JwS95XMSIgFpBlCOY0tV1m7HH-3pDGKbulvdTFnBZgRC7P2R4RWlXQ774ZiLudTO8-mjhhr9f7/s320/Victoria+in+her+First+Thanksgiving+Play.jpg" /></a><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">And this little turkey is one of the most important reasons I want to be a healthier Grandma.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">So anyway, my Thanksgiving meal is all ready and tucked into the fridge for Thursday.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yup!!!!! <strike>A big ol' turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and corn casserole</strike>..uh, ok not exactly...........<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> This year my Thanksgiving feast consists of:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0g6fr-hAWKwDFduifMYP9RpKwkeRkT8Nidu3zfdrCF3brfeBNv191b1PQ4LZieKE_oDD1ZmmXlMuzesabdcqKn0jHxRE0RpQGyIlo7Wgf20zY3gahEVYrZ7Fbrdl9b_8Ap9xvWu9NocZ3/s1600/Turkey+Broth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0g6fr-hAWKwDFduifMYP9RpKwkeRkT8Nidu3zfdrCF3brfeBNv191b1PQ4LZieKE_oDD1ZmmXlMuzesabdcqKn0jHxRE0RpQGyIlo7Wgf20zY3gahEVYrZ7Fbrdl9b_8Ap9xvWu9NocZ3/s320/Turkey+Broth.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That's right.<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One big ol' can of turkey broth................<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #ffd966;">BECAUSE I GET BANDED TOMORROW MORNING!!!!!!!!!</span></b></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">I'll be sipping turkey broth and giving thanks, for sure.<br />
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</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-22193582352271896662009-11-20T16:28:00.000-08:002009-11-20T16:28:02.062-08:00Surgery???!!! Why????<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg25vNMOfTYTtf33M6VF2eWNn82T-h0cu1ZOLKMOZzgRML1A27HNpLbuV8Vv0PzR-_A7YOSJgKYYAYdI2RiLZA7M9q4EywOUNCGeNEj8nE7OdG3p7FEseptuGJDAhyphenhyphenZFbB4LKfUMmGvOQkf/s1600/birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg25vNMOfTYTtf33M6VF2eWNn82T-h0cu1ZOLKMOZzgRML1A27HNpLbuV8Vv0PzR-_A7YOSJgKYYAYdI2RiLZA7M9q4EywOUNCGeNEj8nE7OdG3p7FEseptuGJDAhyphenhyphenZFbB4LKfUMmGvOQkf/s320/birthday.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>What I notice more than the fact that she's 100 and smoking......</b></span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> is the fact that she's skinny.</b></span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~<br />
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Today my new family practice physician finished up her pre-op physical checklist, got me all tucked back into the neato little hospital gown, stepped back, looked at me and asked..........why? Obviously you know the band is just a tool. For it to work you're going to have to live a completely different lifestyle. It's going to be hard work and it's going to last your whole life. Before I sign off on your surgery, just tell me.....why???<br />
<br />
The same questions pop up for all of us.<br />
Here is my answer. Sorry, it's not pretty.....but it's the truth.<br />
<br />
<b>One year ago my mom ended up in the hospital with a bacterial infection and breathing problems. She was immobile, incontinent and depressed. At the time mom weighed around 450 pounds. She lives alone with my step-dad who pretty much dotes on her. After she retired 15 years ago or so she slipped into a sedentary lifestyle. She's always been overweight. She's always had bad knees. The knees got worse so she slowed down. The more she slowed down, the more weight she gained. The more weight she gained, the worse the pain in her knees. Gradually her life slipped into a routine of my step-dad running to the grocery store and delivering packs of cookies and McDonalds take-out meals to her in the recliner to which she had become confined. She couldn't even get out of the chair to go to bed, her breathing was so bad. She clips on her C-Pap mask and sleeps sitting up. The paramedics were kind and professional when they came to get her from the house and take her to the hospital. I wasn't there but my sister says it was exponentially worse than any tabloid story you've ever seen. How do you remove a 450-pound woman who can't walk on her own from a tiny house? It was the beginning of the nightmare.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>One year later, I once again visit mom at home. She spent months in a rehabilitation center where the goal was for her to be able to sit up in bed on her own and hang her feet over the side. Once accomplished, she went back home. Did she lose weight in the hospital and rehab center? I think so. But not much. How that works, I don't know but she's still a very large woman. So now I visit her in her living room. She is lying there, flat on her back in a hospital bed that has replaced the brocade sofa where she used to love to sit and read. Last week when I walked in she had her oxygen tubing pushed aside from her nose and face so she could get the chocolate-covered cinnamon bun to her mouth. Balancing on her stomach was a huge bag of popcorn, three times the size of anything they'd even sell at a theatre. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>She can't roll over on her own. Three times a week a home-healthcare nurse comes over, hooks her up with belts and bands to this massive machine and hydraulically lifts her out of bed. There are special bars she grips with her hands as the machine pulls her up and out of bed. I walked in during the process last week and got sick to my stomach. There was my mom, once a proud woman, helplessly hanging in the grips of this machine while the nurse changed her bed. I noticed an entire box of half-eaten full-size Hershey candy bars sitting on the bedside table.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Mom is one of six children. All of her living siblings are extremely obsese. Most of them are nearly as immobile as she, on oxygen. My sisters have both struggled with their weight as well. My baby sister changed her life's path by becoming a runner and now she's healthy and slim. My middle sister is obese. She is having both her knees replaced on December 1st, hoping she can become more active and break her cycle, so similar to our mother's. </b><br />
<br />
I've got three wonderful, grown-up kids who live an active lifestyle and thank God, they don't struggle with weight problems.I have a beautiful granddaughter. I adore them all, they're my greatest joy and I want to be around a long, long time to hang out and have fun with them.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>That's why.</b></i></span>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-61941158881410388052009-11-18T16:51:00.000-08:002009-11-18T16:51:22.355-08:00I Do Declare!!!!!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Why I DO believe I have just experienced my very first............Non-Scale Victory!!!!!!!!!!<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">This afternoon a guy that sits near me in my office dropped by my desk. Approaching from behind I felt his arm reach over my shoulder. I smelled the trouble even before I saw it. KIT KAT !!!!! Dang!!!! No fork, no tail but this guy is Satan bearing chocolate and my favorite bar, at that.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I told him "no thanks, chocolate just isn't sitting very well with me lately...."<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Truth be told, chocolate hasn't even entered the yard, let alone the house or the living room to have a good, old-fashioned sit-down like we used to enjoy on my couch. Nope.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I turned it down.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">He'll be back.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That's okay. I'll be ready.<br />
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</div>Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-65539327908794124892009-11-16T11:09:00.000-08:002009-11-16T11:09:07.536-08:00Pre-OpsFrom what I read on other blogs there are a variety of pre-op tests required before lapband surgery, depending on your surgeon. There also seem to be a variety of pre-op diet restrictions required by various surgeos. Mine requires 2 weeks of liquid-only pre-op diet. So this morning, after a full week of liquids only and 12 hours of total fasting........I visited the hospital for my pre-op testing.<br />
<br />
Blood work, chest x-rays and blood gases........smooth sailing. Until I had to drink the glucose for one of the blood tests. Yowsa!!! Pure, unadulterated thick and gooey sugar stuff after a full week of liquids and 12 hours of an empty stomach?? You could have peeled me off the walls of that hospital for a while there. I've long been a fan of sugar, we've had a lifetime affair...........but that was tooo, too much. Eeeks.<br />
<br />
Came home to continue with one more week of liquids, a delightful evening of pre-op "cleansing" similar to the lovely stuff you have to drink prior to a colonoscopy. Ohh joy. (I know, lots of you out there are too young to have experienced your first colonoscopy yet. The procedure itself? No big deal. But the "prep" the night before......despite the fact you enjoy it in the privacy of your own home (more like in the privacy of your own bathroom with ten of your favorite magazines and prepare to read them cover to cover)..... isn't much fun.<br />
<br />
Not complaining. I'm thankful my insurance company approved my lapband and can't wait to get to the hospital. Meanwhile, the stories of others who have gone before me..................well..............they simply inspire beyond description.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-21959227068397303562009-11-10T21:25:00.000-08:002009-11-10T21:25:42.548-08:00The BEST Thanksgiving ever!!!!<div style="color: #cc0000; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #cc0000; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">NOVEMBER 24 !!!!!!</span></b><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">My surgery date!!!!!!</span><br />
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Will I be sad this year when everyone else is stuffing down the big ol' dinner while I'm kicked back in the recliner sipping turkey broth?? HELLLLLLLLLLLL NO!!! I'll just be sooooooooooooooooo thankful!!!!!Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-15814817941745220032009-11-09T04:47:00.000-08:002009-11-09T04:47:50.163-08:00To Share or Not to ShareMy second grade teacher noted on a progress report to my parents that "she likes to visit with her neighbors." This was something of a demerit back in the day but 50-something years later, she had me pegged. I loved visiting with my neighbors as a kid and I've never stopped. I'm a social sort, pretty much an open book.<br />
<br />
So why have I decided to keep my surgery quiet and not share it with the world?<br />
Believe me, when I opened the letter last weekend and read the news, all I wanted to do was grab the nearest stranger and tell them all about it. I was so excited. I couldn't believe it. Fortunately, people tend to look away when they see someone sitting in the grass with a letter in their hands, tears rolling down their face.<br />
<br />
Why the decision?<br />
<br />
The marvelous blogs of other bandsters have convinced me ~ it's just in my best interest. I don't need the added pressure of everyone watching me when I eat. It's going to be a big enough adjustment as it is without having the world taking notes on all the changes. So I'm keeping it to myself and a few select people I know I can count on for support.<br />
<br />
Much as I hate to say it, I'm also choosing secrecy because of those people who, for whatever reason, do whatever they can to sabotage other people's success. They are out there and sadly, I've found they often bear a strong resemblance to well-meaning relatives and competitive dear friends. I learned this lesson the hard way when one of my dearest, oldest friends went to incredible lengths to sabotage my efforts when I was faithfully following Weight Watchers. Why does a person who loves me do that kind of thing? I realized she truly wasn't aware of what she was doing and how it hurt me. It was all about how badly she felt about herself.<br />
<br />
This is all about me. I need to keep it that way. Lord knows I've spent a lifetime taking care of everyone else. This is my secret. And that's ok.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4059892828817309520.post-83988391161904342652009-11-07T17:04:00.000-08:002009-11-08T06:58:58.816-08:00The Beginning: Just Another DayI went to the introductory seminar about lapband surgery early this summer. It was hot and humid outside. I had to park a couple blocks away and I was winded by the time I reached the meeting room in the hospital. So was everyone else that walked in beside me, some in much worse shape even than I. Pulling oxygen tanks. Being pushed in wheelchairs. I recognized the painful, telltale signs of obesity we all share: slip on shoes, baggy pants, long shirts at which we tug in some sort of crazy effort to cover our substantial behinds. <br />
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It was like some sort of flashback to the old tent meeting alter-calls I remember from the pentacostal upbringing of my childhood. Like those old days, we're all hurting and it's a good bet we've all tried just about everything else to take care of our problem. We've come here looking for healing. But this time the savior is a surgeon.<br />
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I came home from that meeting with a fat packet full of paperwork to be filled out and pages and pages of information. I flopped on my bed, pulled out my insurance benefits booklet and began to read. Bariatric surgery was a covered benefit, however.........my heart sank just a little bit. There always seems to be a "however......"<br />
<br />
I've been to Weight Watchers dozens of times starting wayyy back in the old days when you had to eat so many ounces of #2 vegetables a week or the program wouldn't work. Those days WW members ate a whole bunch of tuna and counted every dang pea.<br />
<br />
Phen-phen came along after my kids were in school and it was AMAZING what that combination of two little pills did for me. I lost weight! (For a while.) I had energy. (Understatement. I was grocery shopping at WalMart at 3 AM because I didn't need much sleep.) Thankfully when I plateaued at about 40 pounds of weight loss and couldn't seem to budge, my Dr. told me my ride on the Phen-phen merry-go-round was over.<br />
<br />
More Weight Watchers. And more. And more. Weight down.....weight up. Slim-Fast. Weight down....weight up. Vegetable soup diet....weight down...and weight up.<br />
My story isn't unique. it's probably much like yours.<br />
<br />
The "however...." in the lapband chapter of my story is my insurance company requiring a 6-month to 2-year physician supervised weight loss program prior to approval for lapband surgery. Everyone from my surgeon to the insurance specialists in his office warned me that my insurance company was well-known for this requirement. "Some of our patients get very discouraged by this," my surgeon explained. "My advice to you? Just start the program with your Dr. now, that way when they deny you, you'll already have a few weeks of the physician-supervised program under your belt...."<br />
<br />
"When will I know for sure?" I asked the surgeon. "Will you call me when you hear from my insurance company?"<br />
<br />
"Oh," he said, "you'll hear from them before we do. They will send out a letter to<br />
let you know their decision. Just remember....don't be discouraged. A denial letter doesn't mean no forever, it just means there are some things you'll have to do."<br />
<br />
As I left his office I took a deep breathe and resolved I would do whatever it takes to get my insurance company to approve lapband surgery. It took me a lifetime of poor eating habits to get here. I can keep walking toward this goal like I've walked toward all the others I've reached: one step at a time. Meanwhile, I took my required nutrition class, went for my psych evaluation (an insurance company hoop) and joined a fitness center. Honest? Joining is as far as I got. If carrying the membership card around in my pocket counts for anything, I'm doing great at this new fitness thing. But that is kinda like saying my clothes all smell springtime fresh because I bought a washing machine. Truth is, I'm still going to smell like an armpit if I don't throw them into the machine and add some soap.<br />
<br />
This afternoon I unlocked my mailbox and pulled out a stack of letters. On top of the stack: a notice from my employer the entire company is taking an unpaid 3-week furlough over Christmas. HoHoHo. Halfway through the stack I pulled out an envelope from my insurance company. This is it, I thought. Just sit down and read it and don't let it get to you. <br />
<br />
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ga388-j3KYI/SvYb_epS0II/AAAAAAAAAAM/hL4tvJ_/s1600-h/DSC04888.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhucKGbpQpHawiDY4rqAoxmO6ubVi7OkDSr1zO6wojZskaRSXbwzXCLCG00YwjhM1F8IXi4QgcW053oT8LBhgW4mXEXD3uGlDBi6vnuAZtjCY2AIOZvsF02AktUyBNwFCncUyVF6TG5lXc9/s400/DSC04888.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401535580449460354" border="0" /></a><br />
<br />
It was a beautiful day in Iowa today. Sunny and a balmy 75 degrees we rarely see in the first week of November. I sat down on the grass by the mailbox and cried, the letter from my insurance company in my hand. I must be reading this wrong......Medically Approved..........is that what it says?<br />
Is that what it really, truly says?<br />
<br />
Indeed.Nessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06052576187288340982noreply@blogger.com3