Christmas was nice. Very quiet, but very nice. This, in stark contrast to the years and years of bustling Christmases when I was growing up and when I was raising my kids. My father had five siblings so the holidays always meant a frenzy of cousins packed into my grandparents farm house. My three kids are grown now and not everyone could make it home this year. I divorced their Dad right after my youngest graduated high school and I'll admit those first couple of Christmases in a small apartment after years of commanding Mission Control of the busy family starship were quite different!! Didn't take long to learn though....change isn't bad.......it can be fun, it's challenging, sometimes it's exciting.....and sometimes it's just....different.
I spent Christmas Eve by myself. I had some favorite holiday DVD's stacked up, made some phone calls to friends and family, wrapped presents for the kids visit the next day and cooked up a storm. I was alone but not lonely ~ have my new band to keep me company and the 24th is my one-month BANDIVERSARY!!!!! So there was plenty of reason to celebrate!
My first fill is scheduled for January 5 and none too soon. I feel very little restriction and can eat just about anything. My big holiday victory: I had ONE frosted Christmas cookie. Total. I just focused on cooking and sending treats out and delivering them to other people and didn't touch them. Christmas Day I enjoyed one cookie with my kids. That's it!! That's one heck of a big victory for me. I LOVE frosted cookies and could easily eat an entire batch myself (and have, I am sure!)
The only loneliness I feel this weekend is loneliness for the lovely restriction I had from my band-buddy right after surgery. It's pretty much gone. I have been trying to only eat when hungry and I'm hungry all the time. I haven't lost a pound in the past 10 days. Kinda bummed about that but I spent the day reminding myself this is just the beginning, I'm just learning.
Small steps. They'll add up. Next Christmas my best gift will still be what I did for myself on November 24, 2009 when I walked into surgery and hopped up on that table.
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Sometimes being alone is really good for us! I really don't mind being alone.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, my Aunt who never liked to be alone, especially over night, would ask my parents when I was only 12 yrs old, if I could come & babysit her for the weekend when my Uncle would go hunting for the weekend or something!
Glad that you got to see the kids though on Christmas Day. And congratulations on only eating ONE COOKIE for the entire Holiday!! I ate enough for the both of us! LOL
I hear you on the lack of restriction though. My first fill is on Monday & I can't wait for it!!!
Hope the rest of your Holidays are perfect & the way you envisioned them.
Happy Bandiversary Nessa! You will love getting that fill! I remember how sad I was to lose that initial restriction. But you will get it back!
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great Christmas!
Small steps indeed - we all need to remember that. I am with you on the no-restriction thing.. mine has fled too. Congrats on your one year anniversary!!!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say, Happy New Year!!
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