Back to Real Life....

It's back to real life for everyone after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.
Back to real life for me after a week off for surgery.

Real life for me is a full-time day job as a manufacturers sales rep. At night I magically transform myself into Full-Time Student. I'm wrapping up my masters degree and will graduate in June 2010. Weekends for me usually are given over to homework and I'm behind. Two weeks worth of it lay on the table before me.

I don't usually study at home.
This is why:

That's Binks, my 24-pound roommate who loves to be next to me every moment I am home. If we're watching tv, he's sleeping on my chest. If I'm in bed, he's asleep in the crook of my arm. If I'm trying to study..........well, as you can see, his favorite place to "share" that activity with me is right on top of the book or kayboard where I'm working.

That's why I study at the library. At the book store. At a coffee shop.
Pretty much anywhere I can find WiFi works better than home. Yeah, I could throw him down off the table or lock him up in another room. But he's my best pal and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Sundays Binks pretty much has the place to himself.
While off I go to study.....

Thanksgiving Leftovers

Thanksgiving leftovers............

 

.....look pretty much like this years Thanksgiving dinner!!!

It's ok by me. I've enjoyed over 50 years of traditional Thanksgiving dinners cooked and hosted by some of the best cooks on the planet. This year I've changed my focus. For the first time since I can remember, I didn't push away from a table, stuffed to the point of discomfort.

So how's it going? Four days post-surgery and I feel like I've turned the corner.
I stopped taking the hospital pain-meds and am down to a light dose of the liquid Tylenol, just to take the edge off. I got out and drove around a bit in the car today. I threw open the sun roof and the sunshine and fresh air surely did me a world of good.

I've noticed everyone's doctors seem to have their own plan for their patients.
My doc has me on liquids for 2 weeks post-op. I'm anxious to add some substance back into my diet but I don't mind waiting. I haven't had any nausea at all. No gas pains. They even gave me a flu shot while I was in the hospital.

What do I look forward to the most?
Thanksgiving next year.....when I can give thanks as I look back and realize how far I have come.

SURGERY DAY

Surgery is over. I'm banded and home recovering after one night in the hospital. I might mention, this was a BRAND NEW hospital. Everything totally state-of-the-art, all private rooms each of which include a kitchenette and monstrous flatscreen television with wireless internet and a wireless keyboard on the bedside table. The room was twice as big as many hotel rooms I have stayed in. Amazing. I kinda didn't want to leave!!

I walked myself into the operating room and climbed up on to the operating table. Very shorty thereafter things went a bit fuzzy as the anesthesiologist gave me a sedative through my IV......and that's the last I remember until waking up in recovery. Within a couple of hours I was tucked into my hospital room, playing a word game on the big screen and sucking on ice chips.

I have five small incisions.The nurses were in my room, checking vitals every two hours so it wasn't a great nights sleep, but I was warm and very comfortable through most of the night.

Painful? Yes. Getting up out of bed was painful because I have to use all those abdominal muscles and they've had a bit of a trauma with all the laprascope stuff. But I also had a nice, steady flow of pain medication and on the scale of 1-10 with 10 being excruciating like if you got your hand slammed in the car door, honestly it was never over a 7 or so. When I walk around I can feel it in my tummy, too. Like it's tied up in little knifey knots in there. But it's not unbearable and every hour it gets a little bit better.

This morning I had the swallow test in front of the scope so they could make sure everything was flowing correctly and once passing that, was clear to go home.

And here I sit.
At home, in my jammies, under a blanket, sipping hot tea and waiting for my daughter to get back from the pharmacy with the pain meds. Coughing? No fun. Deep breathing? Very important and getting easier.

The required protocol from my surgeon is: 2 days of clear liquids followed by 2 weeks of a liquid diet, adding protein shakes, milk and soups. I'll be very excited to move out of the clear liquids as I've been "enjoying them" for 2 weeks already. Turkey broth for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

Oh well, at least I don't have to get up early to cook it!

And I am sooooooooo glad to be sleeping in my own bed tonight.

Thanksgiving Dinner

My granddaughter snagged the starring role in her Kindergarten play as the Thanksgiving Turkey. Grandma melts over these quick sent-by-cell phone pictures. Lord, but I do LOVE technology!!!

And this little turkey is one of the most important reasons I want to be a healthier Grandma.

So anyway, my Thanksgiving meal is all ready and tucked into the fridge for Thursday.

Yup!!!!! A big ol' turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and corn casserole..uh, ok not exactly...........

This year my Thanksgiving feast consists of:

That's right.

One big ol' can of turkey broth................

BECAUSE I GET BANDED TOMORROW MORNING!!!!!!!!!

I'll be sipping turkey broth and giving thanks, for sure.

Surgery???!!! Why????

What I notice more than the fact that she's 100 and smoking......

is the fact that she's skinny.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Today my new family practice physician finished up her pre-op physical checklist, got me all tucked back into the neato little hospital gown, stepped back, looked at me and asked..........why? Obviously you know the band is just a tool. For it to work you're going to have to live a completely different lifestyle. It's going to be hard work and it's going to last your whole life. Before I sign off on your surgery, just tell me.....why???

The same questions pop up for all of us.
Here is my answer. Sorry, it's not pretty.....but it's the truth.

One year ago my mom ended up in the hospital with a bacterial infection and breathing problems. She was immobile, incontinent and depressed. At the time mom weighed around 450 pounds. She lives alone with my step-dad who pretty much dotes on her. After she retired 15 years ago or so she slipped into a sedentary lifestyle. She's always been overweight. She's always had bad knees. The knees got worse so she slowed down. The more she slowed down, the more weight she gained. The more weight she gained, the worse the pain in her knees. Gradually her life slipped into a routine of my step-dad running to the grocery store and delivering packs of cookies and McDonalds take-out meals to her in the recliner to which she had become confined. She couldn't even get out of the chair to go to bed, her breathing was so bad. She clips on her C-Pap mask and sleeps sitting up. The paramedics were kind and professional when they came to get her from the house and take her to the hospital. I wasn't there but my sister says it was exponentially worse than any tabloid story you've ever seen. How do you remove a 450-pound woman who can't walk on her own from a tiny house? It was the beginning of the nightmare.


One year later, I once again visit mom at home. She spent months in a rehabilitation center where the goal was for her to be able to sit up in bed on her own and hang her feet over the side. Once accomplished, she went back home. Did she lose weight in the hospital and rehab center? I think so. But not much. How that works, I don't know but she's still a very large woman. So now I visit her in her living room. She is lying there, flat on her back in a hospital bed that has replaced the brocade sofa where she used to love to sit and read. Last week when I walked in she had her oxygen tubing pushed aside from her nose and face so she could get the chocolate-covered cinnamon bun to her mouth. Balancing on her stomach was a huge bag of popcorn, three times the size of anything they'd even sell at a theatre. 


She can't roll over on her own. Three times a week a home-healthcare nurse comes over, hooks her up with belts and bands to this massive machine and hydraulically lifts her out of bed. There are special bars she grips with her hands as the machine pulls her up and out of bed. I walked in during the process last week and got sick to my stomach. There was my mom, once a proud woman, helplessly hanging in the grips of this machine while the nurse changed her bed. I noticed an entire box of half-eaten full-size Hershey candy bars sitting on the bedside table.


Mom is one of six children. All of her living siblings are extremely obsese. Most of them are nearly as immobile as she, on oxygen. My sisters have both struggled with their weight as well. My baby sister changed her life's path by becoming a runner and now she's healthy and slim. My middle sister is obese. She is having both her knees replaced on December 1st, hoping she can become more active and break her cycle, so similar to our mother's.

I've got three wonderful, grown-up kids who live an active lifestyle and thank God, they don't struggle with weight problems.I have a beautiful granddaughter. I adore them all, they're my greatest joy and I want to be around a long, long time to hang out and have fun with them.

That's why.

I Do Declare!!!!!!!

Why I DO believe I have just experienced my very first............Non-Scale Victory!!!!!!!!!!

This afternoon a guy that sits near me in my office dropped by my desk. Approaching from behind I felt his arm reach over my shoulder. I smelled the trouble even before I saw it. KIT KAT !!!!! Dang!!!! No fork, no tail but this guy is Satan bearing chocolate and my favorite bar, at that.

I told him "no thanks, chocolate just isn't sitting very well with me lately...."

Truth be told, chocolate hasn't even entered the yard, let alone the house or the living room to have a good, old-fashioned sit-down like we used to enjoy on my couch. Nope.

I turned it down.

He'll be back.

That's okay. I'll be ready.

Pre-Ops

From what I read on other blogs there are a variety of pre-op tests required before lapband surgery, depending on your surgeon. There also seem to be a variety of pre-op diet restrictions required by various surgeos. Mine requires 2 weeks of liquid-only pre-op diet. So this morning, after a full week of liquids only and 12 hours of total fasting........I visited the hospital for my pre-op testing.

Blood work, chest x-rays and blood gases........smooth sailing. Until I had to drink the glucose for one of the blood tests. Yowsa!!! Pure, unadulterated thick and gooey sugar stuff after a full week of liquids and 12 hours of an empty stomach?? You could have peeled me off the walls of that hospital for a while there. I've long been a fan of sugar, we've had a lifetime affair...........but that was tooo, too much. Eeeks.

Came home to continue with one more week of liquids, a delightful evening of pre-op "cleansing" similar to the lovely stuff you have to drink prior to a colonoscopy. Ohh joy. (I know, lots of you out there are too young to have experienced your first colonoscopy yet. The procedure itself? No big deal. But the "prep" the night before......despite the fact you enjoy it in the privacy of your own home (more like in the privacy of your own bathroom with ten of your favorite magazines and prepare to read them cover to cover)..... isn't much fun.

Not complaining. I'm thankful my insurance company approved my lapband and can't wait to get to the hospital. Meanwhile, the stories of others who have gone before me..................well..............they simply inspire beyond description.

The BEST Thanksgiving ever!!!!

NOVEMBER 24 !!!!!!

My surgery date!!!!!!

Will I be sad this year when everyone else is stuffing down the big ol' dinner while I'm kicked back in the recliner sipping turkey broth?? HELLLLLLLLLLLL NO!!! I'll just be sooooooooooooooooo thankful!!!!!

To Share or Not to Share

My second grade teacher noted on a progress report to my parents that "she likes to visit with her neighbors." This was something of a demerit back in the day but 50-something years later, she had me pegged. I loved visiting with my neighbors as a kid and I've never stopped. I'm a social sort, pretty much an open book.

So why have I decided to keep my surgery quiet and not share it with the world?
Believe me, when I opened the letter last weekend and read the news, all I wanted to do was grab the nearest stranger and tell them all about it. I was so excited. I couldn't believe it. Fortunately, people tend to look away when they see someone sitting in the grass with a letter in their hands, tears rolling down their face.

Why the decision?

The marvelous blogs of other bandsters have convinced me ~ it's just in my best interest. I don't need the added pressure of everyone watching me when I eat. It's going to be a big enough adjustment as it is without having the world taking notes on all the changes. So I'm keeping it to myself and a few select people I know I can count on for support.

Much as I hate to say it, I'm also choosing secrecy because of those people who, for whatever reason, do whatever they can to sabotage other people's success. They are out there and sadly, I've found they often bear a strong resemblance to well-meaning relatives and competitive dear friends. I learned this lesson the hard way when one of my dearest, oldest friends went to incredible lengths to sabotage my efforts when I was faithfully following Weight Watchers. Why does a person who loves me do that kind of thing? I realized she truly wasn't aware of what she was doing and how it hurt me. It was all about how badly she felt about herself.

This is all about me. I need to keep it that way. Lord knows I've spent a lifetime taking care of everyone else. This is my secret. And that's ok.

The Beginning: Just Another Day

I went to the introductory seminar about lapband surgery early this summer. It was hot and humid outside. I had to park a couple blocks away and I was winded by the time I reached the meeting room in the hospital. So was everyone else that walked in beside me, some in much worse shape even than I. Pulling oxygen tanks. Being pushed in wheelchairs. I recognized the painful, telltale signs of obesity we all share: slip on shoes, baggy pants, long shirts at which we tug in some sort of crazy effort to cover our substantial behinds.

It was like some sort of flashback to the old tent meeting alter-calls I remember from the pentacostal upbringing of my childhood. Like those old days, we're all hurting and it's a good bet we've all tried just about everything else to take care of our problem. We've come here looking for healing. But this time the savior is a surgeon.

I came home from that meeting with a fat packet full of paperwork to be filled out and pages and pages of information. I flopped on my bed, pulled out my insurance benefits booklet and began to read. Bariatric surgery was a covered benefit, however.........my heart sank just a little bit. There always seems to be a "however......"

I've been to Weight Watchers dozens of times starting wayyy back in the old days when you had to eat so many ounces of #2 vegetables a week or the program wouldn't work. Those days WW members ate a whole bunch of tuna and counted every dang pea.

Phen-phen came along after my kids were in school and it was AMAZING what that combination of two little pills did for me. I lost weight! (For a while.) I had energy. (Understatement. I was grocery shopping at WalMart at 3 AM because I didn't need much sleep.) Thankfully when I plateaued at about 40 pounds of weight loss and couldn't seem to budge, my Dr. told me my ride on the Phen-phen merry-go-round was over.

More Weight Watchers. And more. And more. Weight down.....weight up. Slim-Fast. Weight down....weight up. Vegetable soup diet....weight down...and weight up.
My story isn't unique. it's probably much like yours.

The "however...." in the lapband chapter of my story is my insurance company requiring a 6-month to 2-year physician supervised weight loss program prior to approval for lapband surgery. Everyone from my surgeon to the insurance specialists in his office warned me that my insurance company was well-known for this requirement. "Some of our patients get very discouraged by this," my surgeon explained. "My advice to you? Just start the program with your Dr. now, that way when they deny you, you'll already have a few weeks of the physician-supervised program under your belt...."

"When will I know for sure?" I asked the surgeon. "Will you call me when you hear from my insurance company?"

"Oh," he said, "you'll hear from them before we do. They will send out a letter to
let you know their decision. Just remember....don't be discouraged. A denial letter doesn't mean no forever, it just means there are some things you'll have to do."

As I left his office I took a deep breathe and resolved I would do whatever it takes to get my insurance company to approve lapband surgery. It took me a lifetime of poor eating habits to get here. I can keep walking toward this goal like I've walked toward all the others I've reached: one step at a time. Meanwhile, I took my required nutrition class, went for my psych evaluation (an insurance company hoop) and joined a fitness center. Honest? Joining is as far as I got. If carrying the membership card around in my pocket counts for anything, I'm doing great at this new fitness thing. But that is kinda like saying my clothes all smell springtime fresh because I bought a washing machine. Truth is, I'm still going to smell like an armpit if I don't throw them into the machine and add some soap.

This afternoon I unlocked my mailbox and pulled out a stack of letters. On top of the stack: a notice from my employer the entire company is taking an unpaid 3-week furlough over Christmas. HoHoHo. Halfway through the stack I pulled out an envelope from my insurance company. This is it, I thought. Just sit down and read it and don't let it get to you.



It was a beautiful day in Iowa today. Sunny and a balmy 75 degrees we rarely see in the first week of November. I sat down on the grass by the mailbox and cried, the letter from my insurance company in my hand. I must be reading this wrong......Medically Approved..........is that what it says?
Is that what it really, truly says?

Indeed.